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Hallelujah!!! I’m blessed and favored with $60,000 every week! Now I can afford anything and support the work of God and the church. For Your glory, LORD! HALLELUJAH!

Can we get some examples of ego labeling?

The Black Swan Way 💯 5:09 - 5:30

That part about knowing when to accept the fact that they are going to stay manipulative and to just say “Screw this!” and walk away is something I wish I had known YEARS ago. I don’t want to make the mistake of jumping to that with people I already know “IF” the reason they are manipulative with me is because I haven’t set the boundary correctly before….and as soon as you SET a boundary, people seem to come out of the woodwork to try to break it. Even people we’re close to or want to be close to. Once I’ve hit my threshold, I’m somewhat “rude” or an a-hole with how I reply back at that point. I’m really trying to fix that. I’m working on how to improve the way people perceive how I communicate from the get-go so I can avoid a lot of this later. Your videos really are helpful. I even listen to them while I’m driving. I appreciate them a lot.

Brilliant

02:02 🔔 Assertiveness is crucial in addressing repeated contract scope violations. 02:34 💬 Use "I messages" strategically and not out of frustration. 02:50 ⚖ Prioritize tone and calmness when delivering assertive messages. 03:07 ⏳ Pausing before responding helps avoid emotional reactions. 03:54 🧠 Focus on responding rather than reacting to maintain control. 04:34 🛡 Expect defensiveness in negotiations and prepare mentally. 06:12 🔍 Curiosity and acceptance are key to understanding attacks. 06:44 🚩 Be cautious about proceeding with manipulative counterparts.

I really appreciate the moments in your videos where you point out the times when it is good to just walk away from the deal. I sometimes get caught in the trap of thinking if I had better skills or better personality it would have turned out better. Sometimes the better skills and personality is to know when I could have improved my own communication skills and sometimes it’s to know when would have been a good point to just walk away.

I really appreciate your videos. I feel like I was SUPPOSED to find this channel. I’ve had relationship(s) I cared about go all to hell-in-a-handbasket because I didn’t know how-to-negotiate, and feel like I could have had a different outcome if I had been more competent with what I know and can do. I really love these videos where you go into the topic of people who are being manipulative though, and how to NOT take anyone’s crap. (And also how to NOT be one of those people!). I wish I had been a lot more cool-headed with some people and knew then how to reply this way…or just walk away before I cared. (“It’s not a sin to not get the deal. It’s a sin to take a long time to not get the deal.”. HA!) Thank you for all the great clips you post on here. I really appreciate you.

0:00 🤔 Detaching from ego is difficult but necessary for constructive communication. 0:12 🧠 Control your response, not the situation. 0:28 🧭 Stay curious and listen to understand if the attack is valid. 1:01 💡 Own your mistakes to maintain communication. 1:29 🛑 Reacting impulsively hampers effective interaction. 1:55 🤐 Allow the other person to vent to uncover the real issue. 2:30 🔍 Denying known faults ruins interactions. 2:56 🕵 Misinterpretations often drive attacks; use them to gather useful information. 3:23 🎯 Stay present to uncover valuable insights during confrontations. 3:50 🛡 Recognize and confront manipulative accusations. 4:11 🚫 Don't tolerate attacks on your character; ask for evidence. 5:33 🧩 Question specific accusations to expose manipulation. 6:14 ⚠ Be prepared for heightened reactions when calling out manipulation.

Right! Just being nice and understanding is the key. ♥️😎🙌🏼

Ever coming to Australia, Mr Voss? I owe you a beer or two. Coowee!

What Calibrated Question??? Sandy, Troy, We seem to overuse mirrors and labels, and it appears to be detrimental to our ability to properly use Powerful Calibrated Questions. Am I completely off track? ❤

You've made me aware of how I can utilize by empathy and melancholy; instead of it hurting me. Thank you.

so true

so true its all about understanding

For me this was one of the best black Swan-video's so far, ever, just excellent.

When you ... I feel... because.....

Tactical empathy

Great topic and sage advice. You accurately described the thought process that goes on when trying to close certain high ticket prospective clients. Thank you.

- 00:00 💼 Evaluate decisions carefully, considering the nature of potential partners. - 00:31 💰 Tempting deals can cloud judgment about manipulative behavior. - 01:08 🤔 Proceed cautiously if your counterpart shows manipulative tendencies. - 01:16 🧠 Protect your sanity and well-being in business dealings. - 02:20 ⏳ Slow down and consult others when faced with enticing but questionable deals. - 03:10 🛡 Fall back on training and skills during manipulative attacks. - 03:25 🚫 Be prepared to say no and use strategic communication techniques. - 04:01 👥 Recognize when manipulation turns into victimization. - 05:00 🔄 Use strong labels to address manipulative behavior without assigning blame. - 05:55 💬 Challenge manipulative behavior to disrupt scripted responses. - 06:43 ❌ Know when to end a conversation if manipulative behavior persists. - 07:48 📢 Send a clear message indicating unwillingness to tolerate manipulative behavior. - 08:00 🔍 Seek collaborative partners who respect your perspective.

Thank you for the reminder and the clstification!!!

I'd love to hear chats about how to handle situations where a manipulative person cannot be avoided. As in, an ex spouse and children are involved, etc. Can feel very much like a hostage situation 😅

Great advice! You will drive yourself crazy thinking you did something wrong or can somehow "fix" this energy vampire.

This reminds me of the ELF vs HALF model for Black Swan Group; E.L.F. (Easy, Lucrative & Fun) or HALF (Hard, Annoying, Lame, and Frustrating)

The deal is the deal. There is preparation and there is lack of preparation. Everyone comes with their own motivations. But the deal is still the deal.

Sounds like the fable “Frog and scorpion”

I love this team explaining scenarios to viewers. I have a couple of books from this team.

tactical empathy

I-Message examples: * When you say there's no room for negotiation, I feel pessimistic, because it seems like there's no chance for a win-win outcome. * When I hear "just figure it out", I feel let down, because it makes me think my counterpart isn't as interested in the success of this deal as I am. * When you tell me my opinion doesn't matter, I feel worried, because I don't want this to become an adversarial relationship.

Sadly this doesn't work against my wife. She's got 30 years of built up material to fill any dynamic silence. She's perfectly happy to have me never say a word and her just vent and ad hominim until she finds something else to do or has to leave or go to bed.

- 00:03 🧠 Stay curious during attacks to understand their origin and motives. - 00:14 🧘‍♂ Practice dynamic silence for 45 seconds to a minute to defuse aggression. - 01:03 👂 Consider if you're missing something the other person is trying to communicate. - 02:00 💼 Acknowledge the other person's pressures to clear logjams and reduce attacks. - 02:54 🎭 Recognize manipulation tactics aimed at making you uncomfortable to gain concessions. - 03:50 🔍 Use curiosity to identify if the issue is due to not listening, unrecognized pressure, or manipulation. - 04:32 🚫 Confront manipulators directly about their counterproductive behavior if necessary. - 05:28 💬 Use the "I message" technique to highlight what they stand to lose if behavior doesn't change. - 06:50 🔄 Structure the "I message" to focus on consequences rather than feelings. - 07:30 ⚖ Address persistent unproductive behavior sparingly to maintain influence. - 08:00 🛡 Employ "I message" effectively for threats, demands, and ultimatums.

“Unless you’re dealing with a sociopath”.

#Truth

I don't even want more pay, I want the same pay, adjusted for inflation. I want my standard of living, having negotiated a decent starting salary, to stay the same. I don't think that my loyalty to a company should be punished, and that me staying in the same place gaining more expertise to do that job more efficiently and reliably shouldn't mean that some newbie coming in straight out of uni should get more than me when I've been doing my job for 9 years. I don't want to be rich, I just want my due. I shouldn't have to desert my friends & colleagues to do the same job at a competitor where I might not like the conditions or culture. I like what I do. I think I shouldn't have to slide into poverty to continue doing it.

❤🙏🏼 I truely feel that another chapter of my best life began with studying Chris Voss's teachings. Blessings.

Bout got damn time

These guys are like left4dead crew ❤😀

Tactical empathy

About accusation audits. The more powerful in the situation you are, the better it works. W no power it's not as effective, but still usually gets the intended result, defraying a sticking point. Thanks Derek Chris, et al.

I’m curious, would this work with a narcissist?

- 0:30 🤔 Thought on handling conversations with powerful people: don't challenge their control. - 1:00 🛠 Use labels, mirrors, and calibrated questions to manage power dynamics without confrontation. - 2:01 🤷 Discussion opens up on the effects of power dynamics and fear of loss. - 2:35 👂 Importance of listening to powerful individuals and using respectful techniques. - 3:01 🧩 Techniques help powerful people realize their own errors through self-discovery. - 3:41 🔑 Catering to the needs of powerful individuals helps in managing conversations. - 4:08 🌟 Ego labels can effectively manage assertive people by making them feel heard and respected. - 4:54 🚩 Not challenging their power reduces their perception of threat. - 5:42 🧠 Clear their minds early in the conversation to ease the process later. - 5:58 🏋‍♂ Fatigue from lengthy conversations can be used to your advantage. - 6:29 👀 Fear of losing power can be mitigated by acknowledging it through accusations audits. - 7:19 🤝 Meetings with powerful people should be treated as negotiations to avoid bartering. - 7:52 🎯 Using negotiation skills prevents the need for bartering and lets powerful people realize their own mistakes.

1.5 years nobody told me I’d been diagnosed with schizophrenia… Majority in therapy Do NOT Listens to me,,, this is why I’ve been trying to learn from Chris Voss. I knew the most important things was I needed help reducing my stress, and to look to Subject Matter Experts like Chris and The Black Swan team…

tks for your time

derek seems agitated

Good talk!

4:00 - 4:48 Facts

Tactical empathy!

You all are Pros - excellent work Can you do a piece on how to deal with the other 2 types Analysts in power Accommodators in power